Tell Me What You Dreamed and I'll Tell You What it Means

I don't usually mention dreams here, either because (a) I don't remember them for long enough after I wake up or (b) they're relatively normal and straightforward. But over Shavuot (on Saturday afternoon, I believe), I had a really bizarre dream that I recalled well enough to retell it to my parents and to mabfan.
( Wacky Hijinks Ensued )