First requested rants/raves

[gnomi]

I have no real problem with the idea of arranged marriages, I just think they should be just one option of many. Forcing people into arranged marriages, however, I do have problems with.

The marriage arranger (the "shadchan" in Hebrew/Yiddish) is a long-standing tradition. A family would go to the shadchan to find a wife for their eligible son, and the shadchan would know of available women with whom to match this son.

In modern times, this seems very old-fashioned. But considering the number of people who have been looking for a suitable mate for a very long time, I can see a place in today's society for the shadchan. After all, it is still not easy to find someone to date or marry who is compatible.

And, if you think about it, the proliferation of online dating sites could be seen as a proliferation of shadchanut (the state of being a shadchan) -- people go to the various dating sites to find their perfect match, at least in theory.

That said, I don't believe that arranged marriages should be the only option. Some cultures still require the arranged marriage, not allowing the couple to find each other independent of a marriage arranger. And this, to me, seems like a situation that could end badly.



(OK, so that one I was a bit on the fence on. This next one, though, I'm much more solidly on one side)


OK, it's winter, I get that. And it's bound to snow, since we're in Greater Boston. I get that, too. What I don't get is why, after a snowstorm, people can't be bothered to shovel the sidewalk in front of their properties. It makes life harder for everyone who has an inkling that they want to walk anywhere before the snow melts, and, anyway, in most cities and towns, people who don't shovel are just setting themselves up for a ticket because they haven't taken the time to shovel.

When the sidewalks aren't cleared, I have to end up walking in the street. And, y'know, the drivers aren't really looking for people to be walking in the street, so I end up having to choose my peril: do I risk slipping and falling on unshoveled sidewalks, or do I risk getting hit by a car? Neither, honestly, is a choice I want.

And businesses that don't shovel the sidewalks in front of their establishments -- take note. I'm more likely to shop somewhere more expensive that actually took the time to clear a way for me to get into the shop than I am to climb over snow piles to save 50 cents. I'm just saying.


More later...

Comments

[zachkessin.livejournal.com]

With a divorce rate over 50% in the USA I must say the "Were in love" school of marage is somewhat overrated.

I have been told that the Catholic church requires couples getting married to have some cousiling. Amoung other things ask them about their goals in life. IF the responses from the two people in the couple don't match up they will question them before they will perform the wedding.

[cellio]

My rabbi does that too. He knew me well already, of course, but he didn't know Dani and he requires all couples to have several sessions with him. At the first one he had us separately fill out a fairly long survey. He didn't much care what the answers were in isolation, but he drilled into ones where we strongly disagreed.

arranged marriages

[angwantibo.livejournal.com]

As someone who married for love and had a failed marriage, I've spent a lot of time thinking about this subject and talking to other people.

People in their 30's, whether previously married or not, are "passed" the "in love" search. They really are looking for someone with similar goals and compatible personalities. I haven't gone to a shadchan, but I'm not ruling it out either. How else can you find people with similar goals, interests and are compatible, too?

That said, our generation is still looking for chemistry or spark. Very few people have the perspective of learning to love one another.

shoveling

[sorek.livejournal.com]

Regarding shoveling, what's even more annoying is when people have made an obvious effort to shovel, but only on one side of their house (usually from their front door to their driveway). So you start walking on the sidewalk, mentally thanking the owner of the property...only to run into a 4 foot wall of snow. Shoveling should be from one side of your property to the other side, preferably two shovels wide. I really want to use the word tephach here. :)

Thus ends my rant.