::gives universe the stinkeye::

[gnomi]

OK, who turned up the gravity?

Fess up!

Comments

Gravity is variable

[sethcohen.livejournal.com]

It could be either babies or cats. Here's my theory:

The longer a cat sits in one place (e.g. your lap) or a sleeping baby does something similar, the heavier they get. So, I blame them. Just thought you should know.

Re: Gravity is variable

[gnomi.livejournal.com]

Since I have neither babies nor cats in my cube, I'm doubting they're to blame.

The Penguin for Your Television, however, is looking mighty suspicious.

[arib.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure the gravity bill in my bedroom has been overpaid. It's the only explanation why it's so hard for Aliza and me to get out of bed in the morning.

[gnomi.livejournal.com]

I'd say you should experiment and see what happens if you don't pay your gravity bill for a couple of months. Maybe things'll start to float.

[bluepapercup]

No, Massachusetts has a little-known Gravity Bill Emergency Subsidy Help Act that was passed in an economically lean year when people were out of work and unable to pay their Gravity Bills. Neighborhoods everywhere were plagued by gently hovering objects and the legislature passed the act to keep the situation from getting any worse.

Ari, maybe your previous tenant was covered by the act, and now the apartment is weirdly grandfathered in. You should call your alderman.

:)

[gnomi.livejournal.com]

Ahhh! Good to know! I wondered about that whole hovering thing.

[tsuki-no-bara.livejournal.com]

mother nature: *looks shifty*

[gnomi.livejournal.com]

If things were *shifting*, I'd be more worried. They're just *falling*.

Were they shifting, I'd think I had a ghost in my cube.

(When I lived alone/is there a ghost in my cube?)

[tsuki-no-bara.livejournal.com]

do you have some salt and a lighter/book of matches handy in case you have to do an emergency salt-and-burn?

[gnomi.livejournal.com]

I have a plastic Zat gun and a plastic sonic screwdriver.

I could probably get some salt from the kitchen.

[gnomi.livejournal.com]

Oh! I also have a blaster (courtesy of Captain Jack) and a catapult-with-axe-thingy (courtesy of Fred).

And a plush stompy Godzilla, if things get *completely* out of hand around here.

[530nm330hz.livejournal.com]

Surely you've seen this

"There's a gravity shortage,
And the ending's
Depending
On you!"

[gnomi.livejournal.com]

Actually, I'm not familiar with it. I should try to track it down.

[toonhead-npl.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry but you seemed like you were about to fly off and plunge into the cold vacuum of space, so I thought I'd play it safe and turn it up just a little bit. I just hope the gravity bill won't be too bad next month.

[gnomi.livejournal.com]

Ah, well, in that case, I thank you for your foresight. :-)

[ghilledhu.livejournal.com]

Have you read Robin Wood's Theory of Cat Gravity? If you haven't, you should.

[sorek.livejournal.com]

Marty McFly: "This is heavy."
Doc: "There's that word again; 'heavy'. Why are things so heavy in the future? Is there a problem with the earth's gravitational pull?"

[fizzixrat.livejournal.com]

It was Q, surely?

"Simple. Change the gravitational constant of the Universe."
- Q, ST:TNG "Deja Q"