Dear Red Sox,

[gnomi]

When I said it felt like August, I meant the weather. This was not a demand that you *play* like it's August. The usual way of things is that you slump *after* the All-Star break, not before.

Please make a note of this and return to your winning ways. You can resume slumping in actual August.

Sincerely,

A loyal denizen of Red Sox Nation