Hannibal, Please Call Your Representative!

[gnomi]

As mabfan mentioned recently, the Brookline Tab reported that there have been wild turkeys chasing people in the Chestnut Hill section of Brookline.

Today, mabfan reports the presence of coyotes in the area, who are now menacing the turkeys. And he suggests a game of Food Chain, proposing the introduction of whatever predator eats coyotes. In comments, jesshartley suggests elephants.

And for a while now, I've been somewhat irked by the presence of a provision in the Brookline town bylaws that allows any Brookline resident who collects 10 signatures from town residents to get a Citizen's Petition in front of Town Meeting. Not that I have problems with the provision itself -- it is important that the citizens of Brookline have a mechanism by which they can bring an issue to Town Meeting. But in the past it has been, in my view, abused by people who didn't get the response they wanted the first time they brought an issue to Town Meeting. So I've been thinking of issues I could make Town Meeting discuss. For example, I considered bringing a Citizen's Petition that Town Meeting declare a town-wide Pizza Day, encouraging town residents to patronize local pizza places on a certain date. I then considered what fun it might be to have the Town Meeting Members debate the relative merits of various toppings.

But now, I've got an even better idea! Brookline Town Meeting can debate adjusting the townwide parking regulations to allow for parking one's elephant! Should one be allowed to park one's elephant for more than two hours without being ticketed? Shall we allow Overnight Elephant Parking, or should elephant owners be forced to find off-street parking for their elephants? And would elephants be allowed off-leash during the same hours that dogs are allowed in parks off their leashes?

Contact your local Town Meeting Member and ask them their stand on the Elephant Issues of the day!

Comments

[jesshartley.livejournal.com]

You forgot the most important elephant issue...

Curb Laws.

I mean really.

Think about it...

or ...

maybe don't... :)

[gnomi.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was thinking about that, especially given the number of people who don't even bother cleaning up after their dogs.

[tsuki-no-bara.livejournal.com]

that was my reaction too. think of the pooper-scooping. people would never take their elephants out of the house if they had to clean up after them in public places.

[gnomi.livejournal.com]

My question is, how're they going to get the elephant into the house?

[magid.livejournal.com]

It's easier to clean up after them in the house? Or are house elephants better trained?

[gnomi.livejournal.com]

I think house elephants are better trained.

But could you imagine the hole you'd have to cut for the elephant door?

[tsuki-no-bara.livejournal.com]

exactly. i would guess your average indoor elephant is better house-trained than your average outdoor elephant. pfft, elephant door. give him a garage door opener. :D

[angwantibo.livejournal.com]

With comments like that, I challenge your location!

[gnomi.livejournal.com]

::looks around::

Nope, still Earth.

I'd know if it wasn't.

[angwantibo.livejournal.com]

Not necessarily. You could be dreaming, or it could be a replica of Earth, or you only thought you have been on Earth this whole time.

[mabfan.livejournal.com]

Or it could be Earth-2!

[lucretia-borgia.livejournal.com]

provision in the Brookline town bylaws that allows any Brookline resident who collects 10 signatures from town residents to get a Citizen's Petition in front of Town Meeting

Don't get too irked. We as MA citizens will probably soon lose the right to a 10-person petition to ensure waterfront access, which means the last thing restricting developers will be gone. (Article in Sunday's Globe, I'm too lazy to go look for it and it's probably a for-fee article at this point anyhow.)

[gnomi.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I saw that article. I was Not Pleased.

[lucretia-borgia.livejournal.com]

And on the elephants issue (or perhaps, the elephants' issue):

(1) As long as they put their quarters in the meters, what's the difference what you park?
(2) Elephant dung could profitably be collected and burnt to warm the Town Meeting's winter meetings. Very green. Very PC. Gotta consider it.
(3) Where would you stick a resident sticker on your elephant?

[mabfan.livejournal.com]

(2) We rarely meet in the winter. We usually meet in May and November. I can think of only one February or March meeting we've had in the past five years.

[gnomi.livejournal.com]

(3) Where would you stick a resident sticker on your elephant?

On the trunk, of course! :-)

And most of Brookline doesn't have resident stickers, so it's less of an issue for Brookline's elephants.

Having a Monty Python moment

[madwriter.livejournal.com]

"...and indeed, the coyotes ate all the turkeys. BUT AT WHAT COST?"

Re: Having a Monty Python moment

[gnomi.livejournal.com]

Those would be car-sized coyotes, yes? :-)

[fernwithy.livejournal.com]

HA! If you bring up the elephant thing, tell me, because I'm so coming to that. :P

In undergraduate school, I had a friend who ran for student senate on the platform that he intended to take nothing seriously, and he delivered. I sometimes think real world politics could use a shot of that.

[pressburger.livejournal.com]

There was also a cayote found in Central Park a couple of weeks ago.

http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2006-03-22-coyote-nyc_x.htm

They are taking over. or trying to and failing miserably.