Welcome to Boston, Students! (An Annual Open Letter)

[gnomi]

So, it's that time of year, when the students return (like swallows to Capistrano) to Boston. And thus it is time for yet another "gnomi explains it all" post. Not that any of the people this post is directed toward will actually see it, but it'll make me feel better.

1. You see that thing in front of you? It's a Really Big Street. Running across it while those fast-moving things (we call them "cars") are barrelling down at you will hurt you more than it will hurt the cars.

2. Moving trucks, while useful, should not completely block any of the following: driveways, sidewalks, crosswalks, intersections. We know you have to move your stuff. However, some of us have to live here, too.

3. Speaking of crosswalks, please learn how to use them. No, really. They're not there purely for the amusement of line painters.

4. Ah, the T. Yes, it's a subway system. Yes, it gets you and your obnoxious friends from place to place. But it is not solely yours. The other commuters might want to be able to, say, read their newspapers free of your loud, obscene comments at 7:15 in the morning. Or even at 5:30 at night.

5. Also, you see those big signs in the T stations that say "There is no smoking permitted on MBTA property?" Those do apply to you. And they apply regardless of what you're choosing to smoke. I'm just saying.

6. We know you're eager to get on the train. But you and your aforementioned obnoxious friends are just making it harder for everyone if you're blocking the door, keeping those of us in the train from getting out. This also applies to people blocking the doors when inside the train; if you move out of the doorway, people will be able to get off the train and you will get to your destination faster.

7. While we're talking trains and etiquette, let's tackle getting to and from those trains. You see the escalator? It comfortably accommodates two people per stair. But here's the deal. Stay to the right if you want to stand and let the moving stairs propel you upwards. Stay to the left if you wish to walk up the stairs. This is established local tradition, and there's no need for the commuters to have to slalom purely because you and your aforementioned obnoxious friends can't be bothered to notice all the people standing to the right of the stairs.

So, welcome to Boston. Keeping these things in mind will make your life much simpler and will also prevent me from thwacking you with my elbow as I strive to get to or from work.

Thank you,
The management.

Comments

[sarsmicama.livejournal.com]

hear hear!

[lordavon.livejournal.com]

How sweet! you liken them to swallows!

Out here, we liken our returning students to locusts.

[violetcheetah.livejournal.com]

swallows, complete with the figurative bird**** raining from the sky.

[aunt-becca.livejournal.com]

you must have bugged our car last night because we were ranting on our way home from out NH trip about this very thing. It stemmed from our near-miss on Comm Ave when a girl, dressed in all black, mozied her way across the street while there was fast moving traffic. My electric invisible fence idea looks better every day.

[sethg]

Paging Mr. Darwin...

One I would Like To Add For Our Local College

[madwriter.livejournal.com]

(8) That big black thing you're standing in the middle of? It's called a road. It's really not a good place to congregate. Especially when you're in the middle and those fast metal-and-plastic things on wheels (called cars) are barreling towards you. And no, we can't always see you at night, especially when you're dressed all in dark clothes.

[elul-3.livejournal.com]

Oooooh! When did you become The Management? That's nifty!

[lucretia-borgia.livejournal.com]

Can we add a line about students on bicycles all dressed in black, with no lighting or reflectors, and never, never a helmet?

I once was driving down Vassar St. at night in a heavy snowfall. A MIT student (presumably) shot out in front of my car. What I saw in the headlights (as I panic-braked and jerked the wheel over) was a blur of, no joke, SNOW-PATTERN camouflage fatigues. In the dark, in a snowstorm. I was less glad that I had not him than I was that I had not flipped the car trying to avoid him.

Dark-clothed casual cyclists (as opposed to the good commuter cyclists who dress appropriately, wear helmets, and use lights/reflectors) are a big problem at the rotary near the BU Bridge, too. And on Comm. Ave. Too bad there's no license to hit them. Would be good for stress.

[fizzixrat.livejournal.com]

Re: #7, that also seems to be something of a tradition at airports around the country. At the very least, there was all kinds of signage above the escalators and moving sidewalks in the old Denver airport (Stapleton) encouraging people to stand to the right, walk to the left...

[chaos-wrangler.livejournal.com]

This is also the common pattern in NYC subways, but without the signage.

This drives me nuts

[(Anonymous)]

If you want to walk take the stairs. During commutter hours when there are tons of people it's hard to even get on the escalator to the right side unless you want to wait an hour to get on the thing.

[vettecat.livejournal.com]

Amazing how much longer it took to cross Commonwealth today...