Dear People Recording Ads for Boston-Area Radio

[gnomi]

We appreciate the fact that you make radio ads to run in our market. However, it is sometimes painfully clear that you are not a local. Please note the following linguistic quirks:

1. It's "Wuster" (or "Wustah") (with a u like that in "put"), not "Wooster" (as it is in Ohio). Also, it's "Conkerd" (like "conquered"), not "Con-kord" (like the now defunct airplane). And even though we spell it Leicester, we pronounce it "Lester." I know it's weird; just go with it, OK?

2. There's no such thing as "the 93" in this area unless you're continuing with "tunnel" or "backup" or "cloverleaf." If you want to put articles with interstate route numbers, you're going to have to look west. Waaaaaaaaay west. Which is where you're probably from if you're saying "We're located right off the 93."

3. Related to 1, above, you can be "Right off the 93 in Woburn," but then you have to pronounce it "Wooburn," not "Woahburn."

These few simple hints can make it much easier for those of us who grew up around here to take you seriously as a local vendor. Please make a note of it.

Sincerely,
The Management

Comments

[gnomi.livejournal.com]

You wouldn't want to do Boston traffic, anyway. It's a gigantic mess in predictable places and unpredictable places. :-)

[anisosynchronic.livejournal.com]

The new book out by Mark del Franco (can't remember the name of it) has the protagonist as a passenger in cars driving around an alternate Boston (he doesn't have a car himself), with much the same geometry as Boston had pre-Big Dig. The character remarks to the reader about squares that aren't, it having had to have been a -drunken- cow that laid out some streets, etc.