A Conundrum

[gnomi]

I've volunteered to be the point person for coordinating meals to be brought to our friends S&D, who just had a baby. But here's the question -- how should I get the word out? Do I:

A. E-mail people I know who know the couple and rely on those folks to pass the word to folks I may have missed?

B. E-mail the whole shul list, knowing that maybe 10% of the people who read the list know these folks (as they're relatively new to the community)?

C. Something else entirely that I'm not thinking of?

(D. Narf?)

Even though they're not going to be home before tomorrow, I'd kind of like to get the ball rolling, especially if there will be Shabbat food prep involved (what with many people doing their Shabbat cooking tonight). But I don't want to spam people if they'll be upset and therefore choose not to help out. At the same time, I don't want to risk missing someone who might've wanted to help but didn't know that the opportunity was there.

Comments

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

The whole shul list. Now, the 90% who DON'T know them will be aware that they are in the community, and have a new kid, and may need "new kid support".

The secondary purpose of coordinating food delivery is to alert everyone else who ISN'T aware of them of them.

[magid.livejournal.com]

Seconded.

Do not rely on word of mouth; you never know whether people will, in fact, mention it, or not.

[mabfan.livejournal.com]

I'd go with narf. And I already suggested B.

[madknits.livejournal.com]

1. Send e-mail to the whole shul. Those who know them will respond.
2. Send out e-mail to non-shul folk you think would be interested in helping.
3. In all e-mails, add the line, "if you know someone who might be interested in helping S&D&bebe', please forward this and ask them to get in touch with me."

What is "narf"?

[gnomi.livejournal.com]

"Narf" is the catch-all response for "Nomi is asking a question for which I have no idea what the answer is."

[winterknight.livejournal.com]

B! It's no burden to skip an email; why would someone be upset with a single email to the list telling people to contact you if they want detail for helping? o.o;;; Also, what better way to get to know someone new than to help them out? :) I'd want to do something nice for them whether I knew them or not. It's a special time in a family's life.

[jesshartley.livejournal.com]

Totally B, and you can use it as an opportunity to "introduce" them to the other 90%. Maybe rather than just saying S&D had a baby, wanted to let those of you who wanted to help out know, you could include a little bit about them (info they're okay with you spreading)...

"As some of you know, our community was blessed recently with the addition of S&D, who came to us from NewJewishPeopleTown. S is a homemaker who loves to scrapbook and paint pictures of purple ponies. D is a sales coordinator for the local tin-foil hat manufacturer and is happy to be in the area and helping to protect local brains from alien-mind-probes. Recently we went to the museum exhibit on 11th century ivory backscratches with S&D and we were all thrilled to see how far back-scratching technology has come in the past millenium.
While S&D are new to our community, we're please to announce an even newer addition... on Sunday at midnight, S&D welcomed little sd into the world. sd was x inches and y pounds and hir bright red hair is a wonder to see. S&D look forward to introducing their family's newest member to the community in a few weeks. In the mean time, those of you who are interested in cooking/cleaning/buying them a pony are welcome to use me as a contact point as I'll be organizing help for them through this or that means.
Thanks for allowing me the time and space in your email box to introduce you to three of our community's newest members!"

[introverte.livejournal.com]

A pony! A pony!

[crwilley.livejournal.com]

This is a thing of beauty. I support it wholeheartedly.

[tapuz.livejournal.com]

another vote for liking this idea!

(I still would send a personal e-mail hitting up the friends, though -- maybe to the effect that you know that they will want to contribute and want to make sure they have good pick of dates so they should respond soon? but worded more politely...)

[dancingdeer.livejournal.com]

Joining the chorus, I'd choose B as well.
The worst that happens is that some people won't be interested.
The best that'll happen is that shul members who hadn't yet met them have an opportunity to do something nice as an icebreaker.
The best that'll happen for S&D is that they'll get more support, maybe meet other local people with small children, or with older children who can be babysitters in the future.

[aunt-becca.livejournal.com]

send out an email tot he whole list. There are a lot of people who want to do chesed (myself included) but don't know of those who may need their help. Trust me on this one. This is how I became kind a "go to" person now to help cook for people in our community.

[aunt-becca.livejournal.com]

...and when it's time for people to cook meals for Richie and me, I expect door to door solicitations. Just saying'.

[tygerseye.livejournal.com]

You could email the people that you know about and then ask them to send you emails of other people that they know of?

Or just email the whole Shul list - maybe you'll get some offers from people that don't know the couple but are willing to help out anyway. :D

[eal.livejournal.com]

The whole shul. Definitely.

I do like the idea of introducing them to the 90% of folks who don't know them yet, too.

[lucretia-borgia.livejournal.com]

Send to the whole shul, which you've done. You will likely get offers from folks who don't know them but like to do this sort of thing. When I've done this for people (and this is what's been done for me), I have liked to get folks set up for two weeks after bringing the kid home (alternating days is a good thing, since everyone brings way too much), and have also tried to get meals set up for the 4th week out, when the adrenaline's run out and they're really, really tired and starting on the depression (not necessarily clinical postpartum stuff, just the not-enough-sleep-and-I-feel-like-a-cow stuff) and everyone has forgotten them because it's not a fresh, new baby anymore.

[cbpotts.livejournal.com]

It's nice to do too for second or third children (not that this is relevant to the topic at hand, mind you) because there's a tendency to overlook the fact that parents still get exhausted even though they have children already.

[magid.livejournal.com]

"even though"? I'd've said "especially because"! :-)

(And I also assume that people do this for every family with a new baby, no matter which number baby it is...)

[lucretia-borgia.livejournal.com]

Oh, very definitely, and even more so. Most people I know of have brought (to me or to others whose meals I was point-person for) food for grownups and separate "acceptible" food for the kids.

[squashed.livejournal.com]

I'd send to the whole shul, because there may be people who would like to help out even though they don't know the people personally or that well. After all, that's what a part of being in the community is about, right? I mean what better way to welcome a new family to your shul than to get involved with helping them out? A single meal is easy for one person to make.

[tapuz.livejournal.com]

Send a specific e-mail to their friends and those on the regular rotation for helping with this sort of stuff. People tend to respond better to personal invitations, even if they are a little mass-mailed.

Send out a message to the community welcoming the newest member of the community, mentioning in passing that you are the point person for meals for them for those interested in contributing. (I would do that via the congregation's weekly e-mail announcements if y'all have them, which I am doubting based on your not mentioning that you have...)

[sorek.livejournal.com]

I wouldn't post to the whole shul list, but I'd definately talk to the people who maintain the list. Have *them* post to the list. That way it seems less spam-like. The shul officers likely have experience with these matters and may actually budget funds for this sort of thing.

[elul-3.livejournal.com]

Hmmm...you perhaps also could email me. I may want to help out. But only if I get an email from you.

late response

[chaos-wrangler.livejournal.com]

I've seen notes posted in the weekly shul e-mail/handout re X is coordinating meals for Y because of situation Z, so if your shul has such a thing that seems appropriate to me. If posting to the e-mail list is your local equivalent, then I'd go with that.