Welcome to Boston, Students! (An Annual Open Letter)

[gnomi]

So, it's that time of year, when the students return (like swallows to Capistrano) to Boston. And thus it is time for yet another "gnomi explains it all" post. Not that any of the people this post is directed toward will actually see it, but it'll make me feel better.

1. You see that thing in front of you? It's a Really Big Street. Running across it while those fast-moving things (we call them "cars") are barrelling down at you will hurt you more than it will hurt the cars.

2. Moving trucks, while useful, should not completely block any of the following: driveways, sidewalks, crosswalks, intersections. We know you have to move your stuff. However, some of us have to live here, too.

3. Speaking of crosswalks, please learn how to use them. No, really. They're not there purely for the amusement of line painters.

4. Ah, the T. Yes, it's a subway system. Yes, it gets you and your obnoxious friends from place to place. But it is not solely yours. The other commuters might want to be able to, say, read their newspapers free of your loud, obscene comments at 7:15 in the morning. Or even at 5:30 at night.

5. Also, you see those big signs in the T stations that say "There is no smoking permitted on MBTA property?" Those do apply to you. And they apply regardless of what you're choosing to smoke. I'm just saying.

6. We know you're eager to get on the train. But you and your aforementioned obnoxious friends are just making it harder for everyone if you're blocking the door, keeping those of us in the train from getting out. This also applies to people blocking the doors when inside the train; if you move out of the doorway, people will be able to get off the train and you will get to your destination faster.

7. While we're talking trains and etiquette, let's tackle getting to and from those trains. You see the escalator? It comfortably accommodates two people per stair. But here's the deal. Stay to the right if you want to stand and let the moving stairs propel you upwards. Stay to the left if you wish to walk up the stairs. This is established local tradition, and there's no need for the commuters to have to slalom purely because you and your aforementioned obnoxious friends can't be bothered to notice all the people standing to the right of the stairs.

8. Bicycles are great. We're all for them. In fact, we have bike lanes on some of our major streets. Please, however, pay attention to the following important fact: Bicycles are subject to the same laws as the cars if you're riding on the street (which, for the most part, you should be; many municipalities have laws against riding on sidewalks). This means that you have to stop when the light is red and allow the pedestrians to walk. This does not mean that you should barrel through the crosswalk and curse out the pedestrians who have the gumption to get into the crosswalk when you want to be there (despite the fact that they, not you, have the light).

So, welcome to Boston. Keeping these things in mind will make your life much simpler and will also prevent me from thwacking you with my elbow as I strive to get to or from work.

Thank you,
The management.

Comments

[moonpuppy61.livejournal.com]

Send it to the editorial pages of the Globe, Herald and Metro...

Same stuff, different locale.

[caryabend.livejournal.com]

Let's replace "Boston" with "Washington" and "T" with "Metro", and see if Cary's blood pressure drops! :)

[1-rhiannon-1.livejournal.com]

*applause* Well said!

What is it about students and crossing the street in front of traffic? Do they seriously think they're immortal? Do they seriously think I won't run them over? One of these days, it'll happen. I'm not sure how sorry I'll be either!

[moonpuppy61.livejournal.com]

Why yes, all Students are Immortal... until proven otherwise.

[caryabend.livejournal.com]

Costume idea for next applicable convention: The Grim Reaper w/ "QED" or "Proof of Concept" emblazoned on the robes!

[moonpuppy61.livejournal.com]

"And your Final Answer is...."

[1-rhiannon-1.livejournal.com]

Heh! That time may be coming sooner than they think if they don't quit walking out in front of moving cars!

[(Anonymous)]

Well, to be fair, *everyone* jaywalks up here. It's not like it's just new college students.

[1-rhiannon-1.livejournal.com]

Yeah, this is true. Most of the problem I have here is the students who just meander across the entrance to our lot, with me trying to turn across traffic and get in, or get out. I actually bumped a chick one day - luckily it didn't hurt her but I gave her an earful until she was out of sight. *headdesk*

[thudthwacker.livejournal.com]

Do they seriously think I won't run them over?

Reminds me of a funny story. Some lady was crossing, against the light, and caused an acquaintance of mine of slam on his brakes to avoid laminating her onto the crosswalk. As happens, unbelievably, she took umbrage. Thankfully, my friend put most of his stat points in Wits:

"Hey! You coulda killed me!"
"I still can! Move!"

[1-rhiannon-1.livejournal.com]

LMAO! Your friend is awesome! I'm going to remember that and use it if the occasion comes up :D

[madfilkentist]

To "Bicycles are subject to the same laws as the cars if you're riding on the street," I'd add "including Newton's."

[caryabend.livejournal.com]

See my comment above.

[theodosia.livejournal.com]

Best advice I got upon moving to Boston:

"When you cross the street, look all 4 ways!"

[tsuki-no-bara.livejournal.com]

last week i watched a bicyclist run a red light and almost get hit by a car that had the green light. the bicyclist was visibly pissed. he did not however stop for the light, so as far as i'm concerned he had no right to be pissed, and if he'd fallen off his bike that would have been just what he deserved. (the guy in the car was pissed too. sadly it would've been his fault if he'd hit the bicyclist, so i'm glad he didn't.)

[(Anonymous)]

Why would the driver, who had the green, be at fault?

I turned onto a one-way last week in my car (going the correct way) and met up with a biker (going the wrong way) riding up the middle of the road.

[eireangus.livejournal.com]

That was amazing! :-)

[tanaise.livejournal.com]

(sorry, I commented without being logged in. So there's at least one anonymous post from me. :)

[(Anonymous)]

Dear Pedestrians, When I am driving and you are crossing the street, I am happy to stop for you if you are in the crosswalk, but I am not happy to stop for you if the light is telling you Don't Walk. I am also happy to stop for you if you are not in a crosswalk but are in a natural place to cross like an end of a block, but am not happy to stop for you if you can't be bothered to walk an additional few feet to cross in the crosswalk that is right there. And I am happy to stop for you as you jaywalk on a not-so-busy street if you look as you cross and acknowledge me, but I am not happy to stop if you cross without watching traffic one bit and full of self-important attitude that the world should stop for you. Thank you.

[bear-left.livejournal.com]

I'm pretty sure that the swallows of Capistrano would pay better attention to the traffic around them.


I'll add:

3a: Sometimes, the walk/don't walk signals will have no obvious relationship to the automotive traffic around you, nor to walk/don't walk signals in any other city on earth. Pay attention to them, because some drivers will follow the letter of the law rather than the usual spirit thereof.